One of the things we read for this week in my marriage class that I am taking at BYU-Idaho, was about power in relationships and the partnership between husband and wife. I loved this quote from Zig Ziglar, who was an American motivational speaker that always seemed to have great things to say. He said:
“Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side.”
When I read that, I felt like that really summed up most of the arguments my husband and I have had in our marriage. It is so easy to become defensive and need to be the one who is correct or win the argument, that we forget that we are working towards the same things. Husbands and wives are working towards the same goals for their families, but it is easy to get side-tracked.
One thing that my husband and I struggled with when we were first married was figuring out who was going to do what. We both worked full-time and my husband went to school. We had our first child two years into our marriage. One year after that, the recession hit. My husband lost his job and I took a job as a police dispatcher working all hours of the clock to help our family make ends meet. My husband was still going to school full-time and luckily was able to find another job, but we never saw each other. It was hard to be on the same page as a couple or as parents. What helped us most was time and forgiveness. Trying to see the other person do the best they can and doing the best that we can as well.
“In the marriage companionship there is neither inferiority nor superiority. The woman does not
walk ahead of the man; neither does the man walk ahead of the woman. They walk side by side” (Miller, 2008, pg. 3).
Now, we have been married 14 years and have 4 children. We have learned that we can’t pull each other in different directions, because that will get you nowhere. It is much easier to work together and help each other in the direction they are going. Being married is truly a partnership.
Brick by Brick 